Honorable Mentions #3: Flowers, Sunday, I'm gonna be REALLY DEPRESSED, Like forever.

#3 "Flowers, Sunday, I'm gonna be REALLY DEPRESSED, Like forever."

By Bryan Santizo

When one feels captivated, so much to the point where it causes them to act upon it, you know it might not work. Remembering times when one tries to find complete resolution, so that everything through which one has felt is redeemed, so that they may feel happiness in spite of the fact they already have it, looking back towards them this is how one evaluates the soul.

In my expedition towards this, I was in luck to have my companion with me, we drove along the friendliest of neighborhoods in order for me to hone my skills to achieve my redemption. Once we finally were about to set forth into the area of unknown enchantments, a surrounding so filled with visions of another world, one would expect to fall straight into the very element that is escapism.

We had made arrangements to make sure I was equipped with only the finest 'armor' so to guarantee my success. But all was for not. Like so many others, the quiet few who choose to never speak of bitter rejection, I was meant for disaster. It also was of no remedy to feel empty because I had already felt as such, being the one who had such a heavy heart and stood on its weight until it was confirmed to me by my lady of affection that my heavy heart, it wasn't of enough weight to move her towards me, not even close.

To make matters worse it only took a few hours later to learn that it could have all been prevented. But being empty, I couldn't bother to feel fury, no the effort was too great and superfluous thoughts on life began to form. Thank god for my comrades though, much like a brick thrown at a window, these thoughts were shattered, forever scattered to be reminded of later on as a lesson. We drove, drove on in the middle of nowhere with the most indifferent group I had ever had the pleasure to be with. I had come over my shortcomings and emerged reborn. Sorrows can be drowned, you just need to find the closest river.

And today I look back in thoughts not of sadness or anger but in the sense that, that day I had found reconciliation and a great peace that I was not alone in a life of both failures and successes.

Introduction and Honorable Mentions #1: Halloween: A Surrealistic Nostalgic and Loving Tale

Introduction.

by Bryan Santizo

Ah yes, the runner ups, the almost made its, the cesspool of everything, ever. Here in these confines one can find those days that struck as memorable, the days in which we played merely for games. In their vague and quasi-mystical meanings hidden beneath by instant gratification, bad moods and selfish people. But all is not to be negative, no, some stories begin faltering, only to be redeemed in the end, others end where they being, and some only are retold to remind us that some things will never change, only our perception to it. All who enter, lose all hope of moral fear and judgment.

#1 "Halloween: A Surrealistic Nostalgic and Loving Tale"

By Bryan Santizo

I enjoyed Halloween when I was much younger, something some sort of aspect of dressing into the most irregular form of clothing was attractive at the time, whatever the hell that is supposed to mean in my childhood (and I'm sure it's something BAD) I've come to learn this year Halloween is more than the sum of its parts. A manifestation of "let's do this because goddamn I'm trying to find the door to happiness and perhaps it is here and not in the other four thousand places I've searched in."

A surrealistic journey if there was one, surrounded by ghosts calling back to the bedsheets of the lightest winters, my good willed yet not exactly high fidelity drummer, and a companion who reminds me of times that no longer exist. Our initial destination was at Chipotle, for nothing says "I'm cool" than showing up and demonstrating how to wrap your comrade in aluminum foil. But this, this feeling of awkwardness that one would normally allow to tangle true feelings, that was dispelled, just fucking annihilated.

I came to realize, who cares about such small details, I mean for the love of all things related to sarcasm, I was dressed like fucking Hank Hill. And guess what? I escaped the clutches of mundane surroundings, not bogged down by stupidity or gossip mongering bitches. I had found once again what made childhood's Halloweens so great, so DIFFERENT.

Having escaped, I immediately recharge my vigor and settled down in my new found yet temporary paradise of company. Temporary because like all great things, they must end or else the stagnation grows, and so does the wicked thought of separation by cruel means. (Like many things, am I right?) But it ran its course perfectly, from trick or treating to tossing around a ball of mighty aluminum to myself being called a heathen by a stray duo of church folk, this was the heartfelt thrilling celebration I was waiting for, and I would not have had it any other way.

In the most unexpected of gatherings I had found happiness and a resolve to further continue my journeys for such warmth in the coldest of eras.

Bryan's Alamanac of the Best Days of 2009

The purpose of this list is to analyze each and every memorable day of the year and how they affected me, and my peers through the year. These are filled with bias, and as such will be very good.

Here's what made the cut.

11 Honorable Mentions:

"Barnes and Noble: House Dick"
"Halloween: A Surrealistic Nostalgic and Loving Tale"
"Flowers, Sunday, and I'm Gonna Be REALLY Depressed, Like forever"
"The movies weren't bad, it was the people. (Aaron Eckhart Love Story)"
"Invite Yourself to Others Birthdays equals Realizations"
"Park: Slender Frame Day"
"Bowling is Depressing, and I Like to speak of pasts that still haunt those and others"
"Soccer Game, a Duel of the Wits, and a Lesson in Confusion"
"Guatemala: Land of Opportunity"
"Kira's Birthday: Life affirming epiphany that I might enjoy others company"
"4th of July: Just.. just fuck this."

5 Worst Days Ever:

"Transformers 2: I Want to Fucking Die"
"Sonja's Backyard Adventure: Why I liked 28 Days Later"
"Kari's Birthday Party: This is really how it ends, Fuck."
"Fucking on my Couch: A Study on why I will never host again."
"Hey, shut the fuck up: A complete analysis of failure over the year, and why."


6 Best Days Ever:

"Fairground of Happiness, Not Anymore, Jake's Birthday, and The Secret Lives of Others Revealed: A Symphony"

"Relay for Life: Reasons and Ideas Why I am off the fucking Boat"

"Mexican Water Ballon Warfare: Grudge Two and Realizations of another World"

"The Bike Ride to the Metawaters of the Moss Family: I Had the best Summer out of anyone ever"

"Sugar Please: Why I lost faith in the majority of my Friends"

"Pioneer Man: This is why Incest fucked everything up, you fucking idiots."

Expect it in the coming weeks.

Aimless Ideas: Writer's Block

After battling writer's block for a good month or so, I've finally defeated it with a new song that I am writing, it is one of the most structured songs I've wrote, and I have multiple demos of certain parts, this will be exciting. Definitely one of the sadder, yet uplifting at the same time songs, This one will be a keeper for sure.

Aimless: To not end on a sour note

The old king has come back, it's been long enough, tranquility is back in order.

The majority of everyone can rest easy now.

I'm really happy for them, and I hope everyone else is too, hopefully things are in favor this time.

Everyone gets what they deserve.

Aimless Ideas: How Sad

It's sad when your supposed friend actually hates you, when they admit in a way that none of their friends matter, that only one person matters, and you know it's just a farce.

I wish certain people would be open about it, so I wouldn't have to waste my time being friends with them, so no one would have to. Because in the end, all that matters to them is a relationship, one they blindly believe is more than what it really is.

That sad thing is that, they are blind, calling others blind, they believe they have reached their own personal level of being a god.

But there is nothing wrong with being in love, no I assume it could happen, but it's fucking hard to believe when you are some 16-year old kid who can't respect anyone. Someone who says things only when no one can hear them, but continues to live a fake life.

A real coward, one who is afraid to face the backlash and criticism of his own peers but can attack them in the dark and say how much they don't mean a thing to him.

So the question is, if you really don't give a fuck, why are you dragging everyone else along for the ride? Can't you go to your own personal heaven alone and not continue to brag how great you are doing? How better you are?

What went wrong, what happened?

The thing is, the really sad thing is, maybe you were like this the whole time, and only recently showed who you really are. How sad.

Piggy.

Nothing can stop me now