Aimless Ideas: My new debut album is out

I promised I'd post here again, I still love this blog... It's so peaceful and empty. I'm listening to Animus by Swans and perhaps that's what's causing such a thought. Haha.

So my debut album is out, it's hard to believe I've been making my own music since 2008. Ever since I learned how to record my own stuff I've been writing without care. It was and still is lovely. To have the freedom of making music without a thought or feeling of pressure. It's crazy that it's been three years now since I started.

At times I miss the glory of not knowing how to play too well and just improvising and coming up with, what at the time seemed like, magic. I still have a soft spot for the old songs that no one has heard (except one person) and they are dear to me. It's not that the new songs are any less to me but you never really capture the youth of the first ones.

Anyways without getting too sappy, here is the album. Please enjoy it, if anyone still reads this. And if no one does I hope that someday in the future someone will read this and listen to it. It's a culmination of my work and art.

New Music coming soon

A single or something, from the new WINTER EP should be out by next week.

GET READY.

Aimless Ideas: Rehashing

Here's an original idea, things come and go really fast. That was a lie by the way. But regardless, looking back is simple enough to do, something to remind yourself that there was a moment when your surroundings and the people who fill it up do not resemble how they are now. But what most people seem to forget is that this lack of resemblance isn't dramatic as they would wish. No these surroundings and those are people were the same, it's just you've grown old with them or grown out of them.
'Them' meaning either a surrounding that you possibly don't associate the same ideas or feelings with or meaning a person or a set of people whom you don't associate the same ideas or feelings with.

So what's the source of these changes in ideas and feelings? I'd say the amount of how many times you compare the past and present. If you look back long enough at a certain moment and compare it to the present there will result a drastic change in how you look at it. The new ideas and feelings that you've discovered in the present time frame will mesh with the old ideas and feelings you've had for a longer period of time, which 'updates' the way you see this moment in the past.

Time doesn't run out, it merely accumulates, and the more time you hold with an idea or a feeling the more you get to familiarize yourself with it's strengths and weaknesses. You grow comfortable with this and also grow sickened of how flawed it may be and the absurd nature to which you've devoted yourself to it.

I'd imagine that some memories are fondly remembered and no amount of future tarnishing can truly ruin it. The idea that it was a happy time is run by emotion and not reason, which allows one to look back and feel sorrow that it isn't like that anymore and wishing that your feelings and ideas were still valid or immediately relevant.

They are not immediately relevant because in your present mind you realize at some point that you can never achieve to re-live that preserved moment, it is impossible. But the relevance lives on in the individual that wishes to let it shape their future actions and creation of ideas on other new surroundings and their inhabitants.

In general terms, the only thing that really ever allows anything to change is you. Whether this can affect others and their ideas is up to themselves as well, which finally affects surroundings and gives birth to new ideas and feelings.

Stuff to Download: Slint - Spiderland

I'd like to say everyone needs to listen to this, but they don't cause they wouldn't understand it and would lay down names to this album that it doesn't deserve. So if you think you can handle some pretty creative music, give this a try.



download link : Click here for a new adventure

Aimeless Ideas: It's hard

to write lyrics when you make the song's title someone's name. I mean what the fuck do you write about? The World Cup?

Edit: I hate having friends who all truly hate each other to some degree, I mean I know everyone does hate each other and we are all truly alone in the universe but shit make it a bit less obvious.

Who enjoys followers?

I don't, I can't. It's the very essence of shitty. Imagine yourself, highly respected obscure resonator persona. Now dump out all the interesting of that, and join the ranks of the whores and the attention desperate. Who knows, maybe its like that not-as-good return to form thing everyone seems to be pulling off these days. Who is to say?

Being thrown into the fields of wet and muddy banks, the pure source of what isn't clear. Is it such a thing to be grateful for but at the same moment still be unsure as to why? It won't be known. It doesn't have to be.

To understand a concept

Things are going well, strangely. Its nice to give a feeling and get a mutual return. I'm unsure of how to proceed at this point, but whatever, at least for once, I've proceeded to this result on all my terms, not once giving into the advice of another unless I had requested it myself and improved upon it. Thank god.

Aimless Ideas: Writer's Block

After battling writer's block for a good month or so, I've finally defeated it with a new song that I am writing, it is one of the most structured songs I've wrote, and I have multiple demos of certain parts, this will be exciting. Definitely one of the sadder, yet uplifting at the same time songs, This one will be a keeper for sure.

Aimless: To not end on a sour note

The old king has come back, it's been long enough, tranquility is back in order.

The majority of everyone can rest easy now.

I'm really happy for them, and I hope everyone else is too, hopefully things are in favor this time.

Everyone gets what they deserve.

Aimless Ideas: How Sad

It's sad when your supposed friend actually hates you, when they admit in a way that none of their friends matter, that only one person matters, and you know it's just a farce.

I wish certain people would be open about it, so I wouldn't have to waste my time being friends with them, so no one would have to. Because in the end, all that matters to them is a relationship, one they blindly believe is more than what it really is.

That sad thing is that, they are blind, calling others blind, they believe they have reached their own personal level of being a god.

But there is nothing wrong with being in love, no I assume it could happen, but it's fucking hard to believe when you are some 16-year old kid who can't respect anyone. Someone who says things only when no one can hear them, but continues to live a fake life.

A real coward, one who is afraid to face the backlash and criticism of his own peers but can attack them in the dark and say how much they don't mean a thing to him.

So the question is, if you really don't give a fuck, why are you dragging everyone else along for the ride? Can't you go to your own personal heaven alone and not continue to brag how great you are doing? How better you are?

What went wrong, what happened?

The thing is, the really sad thing is, maybe you were like this the whole time, and only recently showed who you really are. How sad.

Aimless Ideas: Tunnels

It ultimately ends where it begins, how it begins with some is that it means nothing, so it ends at nothing. Thankfully, the sense of something that means nothing ending leaves more room for things that do mean something.

To remember what really matters, oh those summer days.

How quaint.

(This was a great weekend.)

Aimless Ideas: Heresy

"Anyone who has something to submit to, will submit to it."

The thing is, who is weak enough to have something to submit to that is incredibly idiotic?

Quote of the fucking day.

Aimless Ideas: Games for Days

It's sad but unsurprising that it's come to this.
Sure, any sort of legion, especially one of misfits, will fall apart. But to fall apart slowly and point fingers at each other like scrambling embarrassments, all of them are at fault.

Funny. Hilarious.

No one can just say what needs to be said, it's always done in hit and run, no one can confront anyone.

But at last, I am off the dreaded sinking ship, I am off the boat which led to ruin, I am finally out of the sea.

It's a delight to still be able to cross between borders, to remember summer days well spent.

After discovering so much, and heeding lessons learned.

At last, another place.

And they'll never find me.

Haha.

Aimless Ideas: Before the Day is Done

A few seconds ago I could have ruined what was potentially a good night by deleting my lab for biology.

Either way, tomorrow I have to do band practice, so that means I have to finish lyrics by tonight or during class, but it shouldn't be too bad. I've never found anything related to music to be stressful, and I guess that could be my role in the whole band idea in the first place, the catalyst. Although I am glad Jake finally wrote his own song, it shows signs of growth in what usually is a dominated by one songwriter band. It's not simple to be alone, whether you are followed, or you grow bored of it.

Beside the show, which I'll chronicle in the coming days or so, I've got to plan out a few things, and have to determine how it works. One of these is my English presentation, after being blown away by the first presentation, which could be up to either bias of the presenters or the fact that I was not prepared at all at the time, I felt a strange feeling, one that pushes me towards wanting to do excellent in the presentation.

Maybe its because I don't want to let down Holt, or maybe because I don't want to seem like an idiot in front of the class, or maybe because I don't want to let down "the first who get out of the trench". In layman's terms, to my amazement I feel like I owe something, which is hilarious coming from me, a person who doesn't enjoy owing favors.

I'd go more into this but I'll save it for another day, maybe tomorrow when there is less to contemplate.

Aimless Ideas: Concurrent States

I don't know what to do with myself lately, as excited as I am for Cape Crusaders finally getting somewhere after months of nothing, I'm surprised to find we have some support from people we don't even know. This makes me grateful, who knows where this could take the band, and if anything this just gives me more experience in music endeavors, so win win.

Regardless, I try too hard to get myself involved with people, or at least I think I do. But lately that's changed a bit, I've gotten more confident in speaking outside of my normal perimeters, started to try to do things differently, and speak with people I don't normally speak to, so that's nice. Stagnation is the enemy correct? Correct.

I went to the movies last weekend, that was the kind of different experience I am talking about, it's strange, with my normal set of circumstances and people to go see a movie with, I can't help but feel drained out of any enthusiasm. Doing it with an obtuse set of people really made me have room to breathe, to not have to act in a set fashion, and expectations. It was pleasant.

I also had an epiphany that whatever fake hate I had in me, that was real. Great, time to start all over again. I'm lucky to have distractions though, for once it doesn't seem so bad to just not speak, to not want to say anything to anyone because they aren't worth the time put into it.

Back to music stuff, I'm venturing on the Arcade Fire's catalog after not listening to them for a while, and it makes me ponder on how Win Butler can write such heartfelt lyrics, but not be self indulgent. "If you still want me, please forgive me, the crown of love, is fallen from me." Makes me almost jealous, but this only fuels the vigor of improving my own songwriting.

Here's a little excerpt I made for lyrics for a new song I wrote for the band.

where I am is about
being written again
old roads dug up
myself stepping on them

Losing my touch
I want it back
It could be anyone
I wish it were me
You were talking about
it could be anybody
I should be me

Yeah then chorus or something, I still have to work it out. Slowly yet surely.

Edit: Oh yeah listen to that song "Just Like Always" I made myself on the How Scandinavian Myspace Page. I think it's pretty good.

Aimless Ideas: songs songs songs

Besides making acting like a fool, I make a bunch of music, most of it unfinished and never will be finished, but here's a little ditty on the status on my current ideas and such.

First off, influences are this point would be Pavement, R.E.M., and The Smiths.

- Song #1: "Ages" - this song has been a trip to finish, a slow clunky song with some Michael Stipe influenced vocals, pretty much a slow mover, the chorus (if you could call it that) hits a bit like a pile of bricks, although nothing enticing, the last chorus is probably that lift off moment. Almost done, probably to be on the upcoming EP of sorts.

- Song #2: "After the Days" - probably the most jumpy song, the drums are very dance-y I guess, reminds me of The Smiths, came up with the bassline while in the shower, I think the chorus is a bit of a sad affair, not sure how to feel about that.

- Song #3: "Voila, the Answer" - this is a strange song, the chord I used for that da da da da part is very exotic sounding I think, but maybe not. It's definitely a full band song, and possibly it will be played by none other than the Cape Crusaders. Definitely the fastest and hardest of the songs. Excited to see it in a finished form.

- Song #4: "Rest of my Life" - extremely sarcastic song, not very far done though, planning to get it to sound like Weezer or something of that manner. Has a line that goes "Didn't you hear?/I said I wanted you here/But you never came/Only a motherfucker left to blame. Classy.

That's about the jist of it. We'll see if these ever see the light of day.

Aimless Ideas: Thoughts on Gigs

Well, as a matter of time, we managed to finish up those two gigs that we had lying around and were anticipating to complete.

I'll admit, the 4th of July gig was probably one of THE most un-fun performances I've ever had to sit through. Aside from the shitty intro, and horrendous vocal styling of screaming at Psycho Killer, I could do without.

I think it all went wrong from the moment I realized I loathed half the crowd, no offense to any of them, very courteous of them to allow us to play, nevertheless I felt like the audience was more dead than I was, and the overload of compliments at the end of made it seem more like pity dick-riding than anything else. Thank god it was a short six song setlist.

The anniversary gig was a completely different story though, at first I had doubts due to the previous day's total apathy. But I was more than glad to discover that it would be much more enjoyable than any gig since the Kyle gig. (even if it was a tad ridiculous that Jake had to start swearing as a result of crowd loss)

I was pumped, the crowd seemed much more generous, and there was more variety in the setlist. Although I forgot to say a few things before a handful of songs, (Ceremony was supposed to be dedicated to someone not there) It was fun, fast paced, and very intimate playing in a living room instead of a garage.

For once, I can say I finished a gig while feeling completely good, as other gigs usually had me pissed off more than glad I just finished it. (Of course I hate certain people regardless of how I display myself publicly, you know who you are.)

Either way, It's events during it and it's aftermath were filled with nothing but good feelings, and I really enjoyed the support we got from Katy for photographing, Kyle for filming, and Sonja and her family for generally letting us play. If I would want to have a last gig ever, that would have been the one.

In the end, I think the band might actually live longer than I ever anticipated, and hopefully that means some new material that will be more band focused than my solo ventures (STILL WORKING ON THAT EP!) but I can only predict it, for all I know it can all go wrong, because it has before. I hope not.

"It barks at me like no one else"

Aimless Ideas: Still chugging

Well, since it seems the output on any front of this blog trend has died down for the most part. I think maybe some talking about my music stuff would be cool, MAYBE.

I believe that Interpol's third effort is muddy attempt at grandoise compositions, at times it works, and at others the attempt at making catchy songs falls flat due to repetitive-ness, but any shortening of tracks in composition would fix it. Song highlights include "Pioneer to the Falls", "No I in Threesome", "Rest My Chemistry", and "Wrecking Ball" Yeah nothing new.

On the How Scandinavian front, I'm working on this one song, so far I've pretty much finished recording four songs and some old songs from the original EP, titled (tentatively) "In the Morning", "Distance", "Ironic Fate Reversal Twist", "Read up on It", "Long Run", "Was a Silent One", "Scary Folk" and "It was Horrible"

I guess the sound could be called, Pavement DIY recording with Interpol style monotone vocals, and The Decemberists/Interpol style instrumentation. Yeah. Maybe not so simple. Who knows.

Aimless Ideas: Couldn't be Happier

I think I had one of the most sincere and fun times ever, in a long time.

It's different but familiar. Ah diddums.

More reviews coming up eventually.

Aimless Ideas: Musical Litter Box and...

I figure if I just pretend I'll do something, it'll eventually happen. Yet it's never the case, unless I end up losing interest. It's not really a active way of getting things done, but it's just a cycle that I can't break unless I need to.

Lately, there have been two things I've wanted to finish, or at least get a start on.

One of these is my strange and mundane solo music project thing, if you could call it that. Initially, I'll admit I began to start on it seriously when I was faced with an apathetic band ideal, sure my previous fling was one that was pretty fun and exciting, at the time there was nothing better to do than play in front of people and just think for a second, it was entertaining to them as it was to me in some way.

Obviously, things grew weary for the rest of my bandmates, and schedules, stress, and my stubborn way of saying "fuck it" when I realized I did everything and there was no appreciation, well it was bound to implode on itself. After that, I wrote all the ideas I would have shared and instead drew them out in sketches, soon after I got it all together and had a handful of songs.

But there's always something to halt production, my homemade 'studio' of sorts consists of a lone Rock Band microphone and a guitar stand, and it shows. If that wasn't enough, doing it all by yourself isn't exactly exciting, and I've seem to have fallen under a sore throat, and when you aren't the greatest vocalist, it makes it that much worse. This all together makes me long for the days when I could jam it out with the band and get it done in a day, instead of the average three songs a month thing I've been cranking out.

I want some interaction, a reaction of what is being played right there and then, and a sense of "hey we could add this, why not?" It's a weird brotherhood thing, the best kind of feeling, but maybe I took it too personally, I don't know.

I guess it's a sense of "I did this all myself, what have you done?" attitude that has stopped me from bringing up the idea of some sort of get-together after so long. But either way, I want to finish up this lo-fi broken music, perfect or not.

The second thing, well let's say the second thing is one that I'm unsure of how to approach. For a while, I've pondered if I treated this situation too casually, if I'm missing some big point of it all, or if I insist too much.

Maybe I daydream too much of what I would like to do, but then when I fall out of it, I realize it's just that, a daydream. Hopefully daydreams are some sort of indication of what can happen.

Slowly, yet surely is the saying.