she comes in singing

distance can save you
seeing things that one never knew
come to realize a parasite is sleeping
one is sleeping with you

oh how i wish i hadn't started
what ultimately dragged me down
the sweet time i had back when
i left and never turned around

but glances can catch a reason
i could have drowned myself
when you come in singing
"your memories are now mine as well"

my memory must be slipping
its becoming awfully hard
to keep on living
from here I will try my best to jump off

and all i can continue thinking
the weight is of no end
i see you and all i am thinking
"my memories are now yours as well"

i lost the passage into my exclusive
and now all I've got left is shared
try and find the distractions
it'll be a regretful conclusion

but glances can catch a reason
should have drowned myself
when you come in singing
"your memories are now mine as well" x2

Honorable Mentions #4: 4th of July: Just.. just fuck this.

#4 "4th of July: Just.. just fuck this."

By Mark Gross

I suppose, to be fair, I should say I already hated everyone by this time, their natures fully revealed and in turn their natures revealed to be easily discovered in your local toy shop (look for them in the Barbies collection). As such, to even consider arriving on time was detestable to me.

I went.

There was no hope of them being redeemed, but I hoped to grit my teeth and bear through, you know, for the food. Not only was I wrong in this assumption, I found myself warped into a world that exists only in the giggling minds of tiresome beings. I stepped out of the car and emerged into Hell, just in time to listen to the Cape Crusaders, (editor's note: this band isn't that great) sadly, my only other reason for going. I had a choice to make: take that chair over there and sit alone to watch them play, or join that group right in front of the show.

Easy choice, I took the chair. Fuck that. No, fuck that, fuck that, fuck that, fuck that, fuck that shit. Fuck that shit to hell. Straight to fucking hell. You know what? I would rather have fucked shit while summoning nether demons with devil magic to drag me straight to fucking hell than been part of that fucking group. I'm not that much of a fucking idiot.

As you can see, the period of decline was in full force. I saw that group there and it was made up of plastic and LIES. Fan-fucking-tastic. When the music ended - those fucking bitches - went inside or some shit. I didn't even step foot into the inner sanctum of the house, because some cool guy left and gave me a ride home so I could enjoy it with my family. Unlike some people, who don't have a fucking family. Why? Because nobody loves them. Fuck.

Honorable Mentions #3: Flowers, Sunday, I'm gonna be REALLY DEPRESSED, Like forever.

#3 "Flowers, Sunday, I'm gonna be REALLY DEPRESSED, Like forever."

By Bryan Santizo

When one feels captivated, so much to the point where it causes them to act upon it, you know it might not work. Remembering times when one tries to find complete resolution, so that everything through which one has felt is redeemed, so that they may feel happiness in spite of the fact they already have it, looking back towards them this is how one evaluates the soul.

In my expedition towards this, I was in luck to have my companion with me, we drove along the friendliest of neighborhoods in order for me to hone my skills to achieve my redemption. Once we finally were about to set forth into the area of unknown enchantments, a surrounding so filled with visions of another world, one would expect to fall straight into the very element that is escapism.

We had made arrangements to make sure I was equipped with only the finest 'armor' so to guarantee my success. But all was for not. Like so many others, the quiet few who choose to never speak of bitter rejection, I was meant for disaster. It also was of no remedy to feel empty because I had already felt as such, being the one who had such a heavy heart and stood on its weight until it was confirmed to me by my lady of affection that my heavy heart, it wasn't of enough weight to move her towards me, not even close.

To make matters worse it only took a few hours later to learn that it could have all been prevented. But being empty, I couldn't bother to feel fury, no the effort was too great and superfluous thoughts on life began to form. Thank god for my comrades though, much like a brick thrown at a window, these thoughts were shattered, forever scattered to be reminded of later on as a lesson. We drove, drove on in the middle of nowhere with the most indifferent group I had ever had the pleasure to be with. I had come over my shortcomings and emerged reborn. Sorrows can be drowned, you just need to find the closest river.

And today I look back in thoughts not of sadness or anger but in the sense that, that day I had found reconciliation and a great peace that I was not alone in a life of both failures and successes.

Introduction and Honorable Mentions #1: Halloween: A Surrealistic Nostalgic and Loving Tale

Introduction.

by Bryan Santizo

Ah yes, the runner ups, the almost made its, the cesspool of everything, ever. Here in these confines one can find those days that struck as memorable, the days in which we played merely for games. In their vague and quasi-mystical meanings hidden beneath by instant gratification, bad moods and selfish people. But all is not to be negative, no, some stories begin faltering, only to be redeemed in the end, others end where they being, and some only are retold to remind us that some things will never change, only our perception to it. All who enter, lose all hope of moral fear and judgment.

#1 "Halloween: A Surrealistic Nostalgic and Loving Tale"

By Bryan Santizo

I enjoyed Halloween when I was much younger, something some sort of aspect of dressing into the most irregular form of clothing was attractive at the time, whatever the hell that is supposed to mean in my childhood (and I'm sure it's something BAD) I've come to learn this year Halloween is more than the sum of its parts. A manifestation of "let's do this because goddamn I'm trying to find the door to happiness and perhaps it is here and not in the other four thousand places I've searched in."

A surrealistic journey if there was one, surrounded by ghosts calling back to the bedsheets of the lightest winters, my good willed yet not exactly high fidelity drummer, and a companion who reminds me of times that no longer exist. Our initial destination was at Chipotle, for nothing says "I'm cool" than showing up and demonstrating how to wrap your comrade in aluminum foil. But this, this feeling of awkwardness that one would normally allow to tangle true feelings, that was dispelled, just fucking annihilated.

I came to realize, who cares about such small details, I mean for the love of all things related to sarcasm, I was dressed like fucking Hank Hill. And guess what? I escaped the clutches of mundane surroundings, not bogged down by stupidity or gossip mongering bitches. I had found once again what made childhood's Halloweens so great, so DIFFERENT.

Having escaped, I immediately recharge my vigor and settled down in my new found yet temporary paradise of company. Temporary because like all great things, they must end or else the stagnation grows, and so does the wicked thought of separation by cruel means. (Like many things, am I right?) But it ran its course perfectly, from trick or treating to tossing around a ball of mighty aluminum to myself being called a heathen by a stray duo of church folk, this was the heartfelt thrilling celebration I was waiting for, and I would not have had it any other way.

In the most unexpected of gatherings I had found happiness and a resolve to further continue my journeys for such warmth in the coldest of eras.

Bryan's Alamanac of the Best Days of 2009

The purpose of this list is to analyze each and every memorable day of the year and how they affected me, and my peers through the year. These are filled with bias, and as such will be very good.

Here's what made the cut.

11 Honorable Mentions:

"Barnes and Noble: House Dick"
"Halloween: A Surrealistic Nostalgic and Loving Tale"
"Flowers, Sunday, and I'm Gonna Be REALLY Depressed, Like forever"
"The movies weren't bad, it was the people. (Aaron Eckhart Love Story)"
"Invite Yourself to Others Birthdays equals Realizations"
"Park: Slender Frame Day"
"Bowling is Depressing, and I Like to speak of pasts that still haunt those and others"
"Soccer Game, a Duel of the Wits, and a Lesson in Confusion"
"Guatemala: Land of Opportunity"
"Kira's Birthday: Life affirming epiphany that I might enjoy others company"
"4th of July: Just.. just fuck this."

5 Worst Days Ever:

"Transformers 2: I Want to Fucking Die"
"Sonja's Backyard Adventure: Why I liked 28 Days Later"
"Kari's Birthday Party: This is really how it ends, Fuck."
"Fucking on my Couch: A Study on why I will never host again."
"Hey, shut the fuck up: A complete analysis of failure over the year, and why."


6 Best Days Ever:

"Fairground of Happiness, Not Anymore, Jake's Birthday, and The Secret Lives of Others Revealed: A Symphony"

"Relay for Life: Reasons and Ideas Why I am off the fucking Boat"

"Mexican Water Ballon Warfare: Grudge Two and Realizations of another World"

"The Bike Ride to the Metawaters of the Moss Family: I Had the best Summer out of anyone ever"

"Sugar Please: Why I lost faith in the majority of my Friends"

"Pioneer Man: This is why Incest fucked everything up, you fucking idiots."

Expect it in the coming weeks.

Aimless Ideas: Writer's Block

After battling writer's block for a good month or so, I've finally defeated it with a new song that I am writing, it is one of the most structured songs I've wrote, and I have multiple demos of certain parts, this will be exciting. Definitely one of the sadder, yet uplifting at the same time songs, This one will be a keeper for sure.

Aimless: To not end on a sour note

The old king has come back, it's been long enough, tranquility is back in order.

The majority of everyone can rest easy now.

I'm really happy for them, and I hope everyone else is too, hopefully things are in favor this time.

Everyone gets what they deserve.

Aimless Ideas: How Sad

It's sad when your supposed friend actually hates you, when they admit in a way that none of their friends matter, that only one person matters, and you know it's just a farce.

I wish certain people would be open about it, so I wouldn't have to waste my time being friends with them, so no one would have to. Because in the end, all that matters to them is a relationship, one they blindly believe is more than what it really is.

That sad thing is that, they are blind, calling others blind, they believe they have reached their own personal level of being a god.

But there is nothing wrong with being in love, no I assume it could happen, but it's fucking hard to believe when you are some 16-year old kid who can't respect anyone. Someone who says things only when no one can hear them, but continues to live a fake life.

A real coward, one who is afraid to face the backlash and criticism of his own peers but can attack them in the dark and say how much they don't mean a thing to him.

So the question is, if you really don't give a fuck, why are you dragging everyone else along for the ride? Can't you go to your own personal heaven alone and not continue to brag how great you are doing? How better you are?

What went wrong, what happened?

The thing is, the really sad thing is, maybe you were like this the whole time, and only recently showed who you really are. How sad.

Piggy.

Nothing can stop me now

Reasonably Untolerable

God forsake those who see what's ours
and claim it as their own

Seen from distances created by the hours
you've met the person you'll never get to know

Now what's left to say
only confirms what no one ever said

A game of chess or checkers
luck is favored by those who need it most

But don't believe for a second
it's fine to take what took so long to start

From downhill to light headed
how is it not seen, it's senseless to pursue

Build your own from the ground up regardless
I'm sure it was doomed for you from the start

You say you talk so much
but you're never spoken to
You say you talk so damn much
but there's no one whose said they've spoken to you
You say you talk so much
and for me the way out is through

Track Review: Harvey Danger - Woolly Muffler

Ah, Harvey Danger how overlooked you are, ever since they released their first single "Flagpole Sitta" back in 1998, the poor band never really got the recognition they deserved. So here is "Woolly Muffler" a deep cut and fan favorite from their debut album "Where Have All The Merrymakers Gone?" and it's damn good.

With it's hysterical lyrics about the fantasies and desires of a relationship with someone, finally getting it but then slowly realizing it's not all it really was set up to be, and it's final poetic justice twist; revealing that the narrator only enjoyed the relationship when it was a nice, controllable, consequence-free idea, the messy reality of being in a relationship is undesirable to him, so he's leaving. And not doing it gently.

This is what really makes this song kick all kinds of ass. A nice fuck you to people who want something serious in climates that don't call for it.

Oh and the music, yeah I ordered a ton of overdrive and downbeat chord progressions and choruses like "Friends will turn against you/People disappoint you everytime/So if you've got greatness in you/Would you do us all a favor/And Keep it to yourself"

It's too bad that no one wanted to hear Harvey Danger's greatness. Luckily, they didn't listen.

Down By Okkervil River

Okkervil River is still a good band, well the old stuff at least.
Thanks to this band I was able to get to know Matthew. Great stuff.

Aimless Ideas: Tunnels

It ultimately ends where it begins, how it begins with some is that it means nothing, so it ends at nothing. Thankfully, the sense of something that means nothing ending leaves more room for things that do mean something.

To remember what really matters, oh those summer days.

How quaint.

(This was a great weekend.)

Aimless Ideas: Heresy

"Anyone who has something to submit to, will submit to it."

The thing is, who is weak enough to have something to submit to that is incredibly idiotic?

Quote of the fucking day.

Aimless Ideas: Games for Days

It's sad but unsurprising that it's come to this.
Sure, any sort of legion, especially one of misfits, will fall apart. But to fall apart slowly and point fingers at each other like scrambling embarrassments, all of them are at fault.

Funny. Hilarious.

No one can just say what needs to be said, it's always done in hit and run, no one can confront anyone.

But at last, I am off the dreaded sinking ship, I am off the boat which led to ruin, I am finally out of the sea.

It's a delight to still be able to cross between borders, to remember summer days well spent.

After discovering so much, and heeding lessons learned.

At last, another place.

And they'll never find me.

Haha.

Aimless Ideas: Before the Day is Done

A few seconds ago I could have ruined what was potentially a good night by deleting my lab for biology.

Either way, tomorrow I have to do band practice, so that means I have to finish lyrics by tonight or during class, but it shouldn't be too bad. I've never found anything related to music to be stressful, and I guess that could be my role in the whole band idea in the first place, the catalyst. Although I am glad Jake finally wrote his own song, it shows signs of growth in what usually is a dominated by one songwriter band. It's not simple to be alone, whether you are followed, or you grow bored of it.

Beside the show, which I'll chronicle in the coming days or so, I've got to plan out a few things, and have to determine how it works. One of these is my English presentation, after being blown away by the first presentation, which could be up to either bias of the presenters or the fact that I was not prepared at all at the time, I felt a strange feeling, one that pushes me towards wanting to do excellent in the presentation.

Maybe its because I don't want to let down Holt, or maybe because I don't want to seem like an idiot in front of the class, or maybe because I don't want to let down "the first who get out of the trench". In layman's terms, to my amazement I feel like I owe something, which is hilarious coming from me, a person who doesn't enjoy owing favors.

I'd go more into this but I'll save it for another day, maybe tomorrow when there is less to contemplate.

This made my day.

I wish I could make music this beautiful.

Aimless Ideas: Concurrent States

I don't know what to do with myself lately, as excited as I am for Cape Crusaders finally getting somewhere after months of nothing, I'm surprised to find we have some support from people we don't even know. This makes me grateful, who knows where this could take the band, and if anything this just gives me more experience in music endeavors, so win win.

Regardless, I try too hard to get myself involved with people, or at least I think I do. But lately that's changed a bit, I've gotten more confident in speaking outside of my normal perimeters, started to try to do things differently, and speak with people I don't normally speak to, so that's nice. Stagnation is the enemy correct? Correct.

I went to the movies last weekend, that was the kind of different experience I am talking about, it's strange, with my normal set of circumstances and people to go see a movie with, I can't help but feel drained out of any enthusiasm. Doing it with an obtuse set of people really made me have room to breathe, to not have to act in a set fashion, and expectations. It was pleasant.

I also had an epiphany that whatever fake hate I had in me, that was real. Great, time to start all over again. I'm lucky to have distractions though, for once it doesn't seem so bad to just not speak, to not want to say anything to anyone because they aren't worth the time put into it.

Back to music stuff, I'm venturing on the Arcade Fire's catalog after not listening to them for a while, and it makes me ponder on how Win Butler can write such heartfelt lyrics, but not be self indulgent. "If you still want me, please forgive me, the crown of love, is fallen from me." Makes me almost jealous, but this only fuels the vigor of improving my own songwriting.

Here's a little excerpt I made for lyrics for a new song I wrote for the band.

where I am is about
being written again
old roads dug up
myself stepping on them

Losing my touch
I want it back
It could be anyone
I wish it were me
You were talking about
it could be anybody
I should be me

Yeah then chorus or something, I still have to work it out. Slowly yet surely.

Edit: Oh yeah listen to that song "Just Like Always" I made myself on the How Scandinavian Myspace Page. I think it's pretty good.

Aimless Ideas: Feeling terrible and then not

What can I say? Everyone makes a decision that will utterly have a consequence either instantly or forever, maybe even both.
Whatever.
Me?
I have no idea, possibly my actions are to be forever remembered or not, either way it sure was instant, as far as I can tell. Regardless, we must all move on unless we are to live in a single moment forever. Without being too easily specific and making you not think and then have the satisfaction of "OH! that's what he's talking about." I made a choice that affected another person, and now I bear witness to what it has caused.

But what exactly does that even mean?
I know how it has affected me, without a doubt, I felt pretty awful, and definitely wished not to have done so to make me feel like that, but what exactly do we feel awful for?
Is it because it didn't go as we wished?
Or is it so because the person we affected might feel similarly? Maybe I am too much of a person who thinks about how others think instead of myself, and lately I think that's actually just right on the mark.

Perhaps it is okay to be selfish about things, but of course not in a manner in which to be a total disregarding person and say to someone "Well, fuck off. You didn't want it that way." Not at all.

But instead to not engulf myself into another person so much that I forget what makes ME happy, what makes ME still alive, that whatever happens, it'll pass over and I will laugh about it in a year or so with said person.

Maybe not that well, who knows? Perhaps what I have done is irreversible and I will forever only lament the fact that I did something to alter a friendship or perception of myself to another person.

But what's the point of worrying about such things?
Misery loves company, don't just fucking give it company like it's fucking Christmas and you got the Secret Santa at your shitty job at the local law firm office and the items on the list are

A) Sulking Partner
B) Crying and Remembering the 'Good times'
C) Karaoke with shitty 128kbps MP3s burnt on a mixtape

I cared (still do) about this person, obviously, but if we were to say I could go to the 'old' perception, would this person want me to be miserable about it? To want to just imagine every moment a living hell?

I sincerely doubt it, so in whatever fucked up way, in honor of the way things were before (this is a loose term, things don't change only perceptions goddammit) I myself will not feel awful for it, and maybe with time and patience this perception with another person can be similar to how it once was.

Of course unless it's something REALLY awful like rape or some such, yeah you, I knew you thought about that. Sick fuck.

EDIT: Fuck, I might have done it wrong, time to fix things!

Aimless Ideas: songs songs songs

Besides making acting like a fool, I make a bunch of music, most of it unfinished and never will be finished, but here's a little ditty on the status on my current ideas and such.

First off, influences are this point would be Pavement, R.E.M., and The Smiths.

- Song #1: "Ages" - this song has been a trip to finish, a slow clunky song with some Michael Stipe influenced vocals, pretty much a slow mover, the chorus (if you could call it that) hits a bit like a pile of bricks, although nothing enticing, the last chorus is probably that lift off moment. Almost done, probably to be on the upcoming EP of sorts.

- Song #2: "After the Days" - probably the most jumpy song, the drums are very dance-y I guess, reminds me of The Smiths, came up with the bassline while in the shower, I think the chorus is a bit of a sad affair, not sure how to feel about that.

- Song #3: "Voila, the Answer" - this is a strange song, the chord I used for that da da da da part is very exotic sounding I think, but maybe not. It's definitely a full band song, and possibly it will be played by none other than the Cape Crusaders. Definitely the fastest and hardest of the songs. Excited to see it in a finished form.

- Song #4: "Rest of my Life" - extremely sarcastic song, not very far done though, planning to get it to sound like Weezer or something of that manner. Has a line that goes "Didn't you hear?/I said I wanted you here/But you never came/Only a motherfucker left to blame. Classy.

That's about the jist of it. We'll see if these ever see the light of day.

pictures of an adventure

i'd like to think the actors never stop acting.



letting your days go by



not living just killing time.

A poem (not by me)

A silhouette amidst the smoke
Walking, pacing, biking where?
He seems the average sort of bloke
Why does he stride through squalid air?

('Perhaps he goes to fight a foe'
'Perhaps it's better not to know'
'Perhaps it is a boring task'
Perhaps it's better just to ask)

'To victory!' he boldly claims,
Thoughts on what he might obtain.
'Or perhaps not' he says ashamed,
Perhaps his work has been in vain.

'He's at the door!'
'His nerves are shot!'
'Perhaps he'll score!'
Or perhaps not.

What occurred, we'll never say
But happier, he looks today.

-Mohinder Krug

random things.

1. you spoke of yourself
in a manner so cunningly
though it wasn't true
found eating my words so suddenly

she spread your conscious open
where things of no importance go right in
what isn't there
is really the truth

yet still
you only hear
what we want to hear
and disregard the rest

only searching for the answer
we know isn't worth the trek
but it was fresh in the minds
from the beginning of this quest

irony tastes so sweet
savory as lead
fascination ends to nowhere
much less where we tread

please never be able
or ready to admit
good for everyone else
and myself, as well

Football Fields tentative lyrics

New song.

i'm waiting
for my turn in the line
of catching a football
and it's fine
because it's muddied
unrefined, what's not to try?

you fell down
and the hospital
was calling me
i said it's the wrong person
so i got morphine for you and me
(but enough for three)

they always set you down
but I won't need to
I never picked up
so what's the reason?

with penguins and otters
still looking for partners
can't expect me to act the same
lack of creativity
and hysterical sensibility
do we really need another dare

letting shit be thrown
and everyone's always letting me know
how can you not read
what you aren't supposed to
rules are to be broken
but I'm just joking

she said I'm just joking
so it must be a joke then

they always set you down
but I won't need to
I never picked up
so what's the reason? (what's the need then?)

oh.
(You're just a joke then)

Tracklist Version 2.0 (Updated)

1. Aspirations!
2. Ironic Fate, Reversal Twist
3. Was a Silent One
4. Copycat/Remarks
5. Morning
6. Such Distance
7. Dante's Inferno/Anything Pt. I
8. To Think Ahead
9. Scary Folk
10. Anything Pt. II
11. Malleable Young Mind
12. Day of the Year

Almost there....

sirensfillingpace

Everybody got lazy
on their way to heaven
They believed it was
straight to hell

while sirens wail
with falling skies
run into shelters
unused goodbye

quite frankly
I'm happy
we never talked

left unsaid
i guess i'd
remember you more

company is cheap
you play
russian roulette

now it's captivated
to prove it was only
cold facisination

Aimless Ideas: Thoughts on Gigs

Well, as a matter of time, we managed to finish up those two gigs that we had lying around and were anticipating to complete.

I'll admit, the 4th of July gig was probably one of THE most un-fun performances I've ever had to sit through. Aside from the shitty intro, and horrendous vocal styling of screaming at Psycho Killer, I could do without.

I think it all went wrong from the moment I realized I loathed half the crowd, no offense to any of them, very courteous of them to allow us to play, nevertheless I felt like the audience was more dead than I was, and the overload of compliments at the end of made it seem more like pity dick-riding than anything else. Thank god it was a short six song setlist.

The anniversary gig was a completely different story though, at first I had doubts due to the previous day's total apathy. But I was more than glad to discover that it would be much more enjoyable than any gig since the Kyle gig. (even if it was a tad ridiculous that Jake had to start swearing as a result of crowd loss)

I was pumped, the crowd seemed much more generous, and there was more variety in the setlist. Although I forgot to say a few things before a handful of songs, (Ceremony was supposed to be dedicated to someone not there) It was fun, fast paced, and very intimate playing in a living room instead of a garage.

For once, I can say I finished a gig while feeling completely good, as other gigs usually had me pissed off more than glad I just finished it. (Of course I hate certain people regardless of how I display myself publicly, you know who you are.)

Either way, It's events during it and it's aftermath were filled with nothing but good feelings, and I really enjoyed the support we got from Katy for photographing, Kyle for filming, and Sonja and her family for generally letting us play. If I would want to have a last gig ever, that would have been the one.

In the end, I think the band might actually live longer than I ever anticipated, and hopefully that means some new material that will be more band focused than my solo ventures (STILL WORKING ON THAT EP!) but I can only predict it, for all I know it can all go wrong, because it has before. I hope not.

"It barks at me like no one else"

Aimless Ideas: Instant Classic

Moving hasn't been as simple as I would have thought, once you get used to things, it's hard to get separated from them. It's easier to see the flaws, to be compare certain things with others, and have a preference for the past.

Although new settings, ideas and views are always appreciated, you never know how much you like anything at all until it's gone.

There seems to be a strange quiet ambiance that howls throughout the house even though I can hear the fridge buzz endlessly, until it disconnects of course.

I'm slowly beginning to worry if Frank is dead, as me and Jaccob haven't been able to contact him in at least three days, four in an hour or so. So perhaps I won't have to play around like a jester for hire in front of people after all.

Well I wonder.

Pending tracklist

1. Aspirations!
2. Ironic Fate, Reversal Twist
3. Was a Silent One
4. Such Distance
5. This is Morning
6. ?????? (Part 1)
7. Scary Folk
8. ?????? (Part 2)
9. Appreciate the Frankness
10. Balls Out

Might look something like that, probably with like two or three b-sides or some shit. a Sampler EP may come out or not. Who knows

I do not walk, I run

Classic Smiths.

Aimless Ideas: Still chugging

Well, since it seems the output on any front of this blog trend has died down for the most part. I think maybe some talking about my music stuff would be cool, MAYBE.

I believe that Interpol's third effort is muddy attempt at grandoise compositions, at times it works, and at others the attempt at making catchy songs falls flat due to repetitive-ness, but any shortening of tracks in composition would fix it. Song highlights include "Pioneer to the Falls", "No I in Threesome", "Rest My Chemistry", and "Wrecking Ball" Yeah nothing new.

On the How Scandinavian front, I'm working on this one song, so far I've pretty much finished recording four songs and some old songs from the original EP, titled (tentatively) "In the Morning", "Distance", "Ironic Fate Reversal Twist", "Read up on It", "Long Run", "Was a Silent One", "Scary Folk" and "It was Horrible"

I guess the sound could be called, Pavement DIY recording with Interpol style monotone vocals, and The Decemberists/Interpol style instrumentation. Yeah. Maybe not so simple. Who knows.

Aimless Ideas: Couldn't be Happier

I think I had one of the most sincere and fun times ever, in a long time.

It's different but familiar. Ah diddums.

More reviews coming up eventually.

Aimless Ideas: Musical Litter Box and...

I figure if I just pretend I'll do something, it'll eventually happen. Yet it's never the case, unless I end up losing interest. It's not really a active way of getting things done, but it's just a cycle that I can't break unless I need to.

Lately, there have been two things I've wanted to finish, or at least get a start on.

One of these is my strange and mundane solo music project thing, if you could call it that. Initially, I'll admit I began to start on it seriously when I was faced with an apathetic band ideal, sure my previous fling was one that was pretty fun and exciting, at the time there was nothing better to do than play in front of people and just think for a second, it was entertaining to them as it was to me in some way.

Obviously, things grew weary for the rest of my bandmates, and schedules, stress, and my stubborn way of saying "fuck it" when I realized I did everything and there was no appreciation, well it was bound to implode on itself. After that, I wrote all the ideas I would have shared and instead drew them out in sketches, soon after I got it all together and had a handful of songs.

But there's always something to halt production, my homemade 'studio' of sorts consists of a lone Rock Band microphone and a guitar stand, and it shows. If that wasn't enough, doing it all by yourself isn't exactly exciting, and I've seem to have fallen under a sore throat, and when you aren't the greatest vocalist, it makes it that much worse. This all together makes me long for the days when I could jam it out with the band and get it done in a day, instead of the average three songs a month thing I've been cranking out.

I want some interaction, a reaction of what is being played right there and then, and a sense of "hey we could add this, why not?" It's a weird brotherhood thing, the best kind of feeling, but maybe I took it too personally, I don't know.

I guess it's a sense of "I did this all myself, what have you done?" attitude that has stopped me from bringing up the idea of some sort of get-together after so long. But either way, I want to finish up this lo-fi broken music, perfect or not.

The second thing, well let's say the second thing is one that I'm unsure of how to approach. For a while, I've pondered if I treated this situation too casually, if I'm missing some big point of it all, or if I insist too much.

Maybe I daydream too much of what I would like to do, but then when I fall out of it, I realize it's just that, a daydream. Hopefully daydreams are some sort of indication of what can happen.

Slowly, yet surely is the saying.

I drag you down I use you up!

One of the many highlights of the NIN concert, seems fitting to lots of things.



Watch this in HQ and get blown away.

There is a place that still remains

Sincerely Amazing show.


Nine Inch Nails
01. Now I’m Nothing
02. Terrible Lie
03. 1,000,000
04. Heresy
05. March of the Pigs
06. Metal
07. Reptile
08. The Becoming
09. Survivalism
10. Mr. Self Destruct
11. The Fragile
12. Gone, Still
13. The Way Out Is Through
14. Wish
15. Echoplex
16. The Day The World Went Away
17. The Hand That Feeds
18. Head Like a Hole

Jane's Addiction
01. Three Days
02. Whores
03. Ain’t No Right
04. Pigs in Zen
05. Mountain Song
06. Had a Dad
07. Been Caught Stealing
08. Ted, Just Admit It
09. Ocean Size
10. Summertime Rolls
11. Stop
12. Jane Says

Aimless Ideas: The Great Nostalgia

At times, I guess everything seems so at peace, I start to disbelieve it and eventually ruin it by running around in circles about what I'm supposed to do next. I imagine it's a normal thing, but it's why things happen, usually exaggerations if you will.

So far, there is no direction to really run to, sure there's events, and some very nearby (tomorrow) but even after they pass I wonder where some of my thoughts will end up. "Will you say the right thing?", "How soon is eventually?", "What's the point of anything?", "Wasn't It Like this before?", "Probably should have taken advantage back then"

It's nothing new, nothing ever is, but at times the direction less method is one that often will grow tiring. At times, I look back and glance at the things I merely took for granted and often sulk a bit on the things I never got to say, and maybe will get to proclaim in the future, but regardless, it feels as though it would have been best to say back then.

Time travel is often a subject that flows in and out, but the standard "everything is fine now" way of thinking is one that prevents this from manifesting an obsession, but regardless its difficult for one to not fall into a state of pure what-if thinking and then slowly regretting everything ever done.

It's funny though, at times (maybe it's just me) I miss the thrill in being miserable about certain things, the kinds of things that made it worth to wake up in the morning and not give a shit about anything around you, but eventually these things wither away and you're left with a new environment.

This gave a sort of sense of privilege, at best though, we must look ahead, make the most of what is at hand, and use the knowledge gained now for later endeavors with past or completely new subjects.

Aimless Ideas: Anti-Bad

Since it seems to be occurring that easy writing is the new good, so be it.

Saturday was a strange day, hosted with a barely conscious sense of ideal, I awoke late but still had enough in me to get out of bed and take a quick shower. Picked up Mark on the way and went to Airsofting, once there I greeted everyone and was given a penis-shaped pancake. Pretty Good.

Afterwards, I accompanied Mark to a soccer game that was memorable in the surroundings, got together with Berlin and she bought us drinks. Later on, I challenged two young men at a duel in the basketball court with Mark as my right hand man, we lost terribly. Then I met Denielle's younger brother who looks like a total badass and what not.

Confusion ensued, but I remained calm and whatever. Mark and I waited on the street as Berlin was getting picked up, noticed we were standing around like pimps. Laughed about it, and headed to my house for a few drinks and TV watching. Thought about what the NIN concert will be like.

Once he left, I didn't do anything. Ever. Wrote some weird songs, and watched iCarly, Miranda Cosgrove is my favorite Nick person ever. Yeah.

Sunday began with my ongoing church complex, it's a love hate thing, and either way I feel like I'm being judged everytime I get up or sit down. After that I went to Sam's Club and saw Girl Scouts and had the most mundane feeling seeing their shitty car wash next to Office Depot. I went inside and saw an old man who seemed to hate his life for working there, I gave him my silent sympathy for his fate. I got out and walked back, got home and wrote some more songs.

That's about it.

Aimless Ideas: Yes it Is Obvious

Stop being a magnet, and goddamn this blister on my finger.

Track Review: Blur - No Distance Left To Run

A band like Blur probably has the musical elasticity of a rubber band, from their early shoegaze days, to the Britpop middle years, and then later experimentation that resulted with some of their finest work, it's hard to really pinpoint what sort of genre Blur is actually a part of. While this is all true, in 1999's 13, Blur would be in that latter experimental period of musical output, but while most of the album was a blend of many musical styles, the utterly somber swan song "No Distance Left To Run" was a conclusion to Damon Albarn's recent break up.

Armed with a quiet yet unsure guitar line by the ever brilliant Graham Coxon, and a sparse arrangement of drums and bass with some quiet backing vocals, Albarn bares all of his soul in the direct and simple lines "It's over/You don't need to tell me/I hope you're with someone who makes you/feel safe in your sleeping tonight/I won't kill myself, trying to stay in your life/I got no distance left to run".

Although Blur alienated alot of their fans with abrasive music at the time, they still knew how to capture the strongest emotions in simple arrangements.

Blur - No Distance Left To Run

Aimless Ideas: Blant Exception

When you get traditional reasons for doing things, instead of the fabricated bullshit that people love to spew out of their filthy mouths, you get this sense of respect in a person, and it's refreshing in areas of the sort. Unfortunately, it's most of the time always the latter, maybe I'm too old-fashioned.

Regardless, when an exception comes along, whether good or bad, its as if the value of said exception is increased ten-fold.

Aimless Ideas: Dragging a Dead Horse Up a Hill

I have come to accept that one of the greatest curiosities that ever enter a person's mind is what exactly is entering another's. Although this is not new, I can only imagine if there's anyone who ever actually dedicates so much time to it that they hit insanity.

But this does seem to fit human nature in some form, it comes as common knowledge that at times, we might have some sort of preference to an object that isn't on the same level of interest to others. And in the process of trying to see if there are any other people who enjoy the same things, you will possibly get denied and depending on your sensitivity and magnitude of importance, crushed.

This would make anyone want to know if they have similar interests without actually risking to be rejected, of course this also seems to have an effect of not even daring to put out any sort of indication of common ideals and never knowing if they were there or not in the first place.
So it remains as; Is it worth the risk to find out if there are common ideas with other people regardless of the possibility of rejection?

For me, you might as well because the worst that can happen is often exaggerated to the fullest extent.

On a side note, ever hear something you swore you said before, is plagiarism really the greatest compliment?

Track Review: Interpol - Specialist

This outtake track off of 2002's Turn On the Bright Lights is for lack of a better term, an underrated gem among many who often overlook Interpol's deeper cuts and head straight for the singles. (looking at you "No I In Threesome") Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, by far Interpol has some fine singles, but the overlooked tracks often show a side of the band that isn't discovered much too often.

"Specialist", clocking in at 6:40 is a showcase of some of the band's finest attributes, the bass growls lowly in a catchy and cool tone, while Paul Banks lowly sings "You make me lose my buttons, oh yeah you make me spit/I don't like my clothes anymore" as if just disgusted with a constricting lover, and then the sparse guitar kicks in. Now you are hooked. The song builds up as the drums kick in a tight groove that merit one of the band's finest rhythm sections, slowly and surely the song starts to lift off as Banks howls "well I am speckled like a leopard/just like a leopard/trust will get you down/I love the way/you put me in the big house."

Throughout, the song drifts in and out of slowly speeding up and quickly slowing down as if the controlled paranoia would burst. Thankfully, Interpol knows its dramatic dynamics well enough to control and maintain a listener's interest through the whole song. If a song ever needed a modern take on unstable lovers and uneasy decisions, Interpol knew how to do it.

Interpol - Specialist (Live at Koln)

Track Review: Sunset Rubdown - The Taming of The Hands That Came Back to Life

Sunset Rubdown has always had a sort of quasi-mystical, distant feeling in their music. Since they released Shut Up I Am Dreaming back in 2006, this was prevalent in almost all the songs. But there's something in 2007's Random Spirit Lover's track "The Taming of the Hands that Came Back to Life" that recalls time periods of the past that swell under Spencer Krug's voice.

The song's narrative that drifts in and out from a vague conversation to metaphors that will travel in your mind bit by bit, all while Krug's lyrical foreplay will have you guessing at whether he's reminiscing on a friend's wise words "She said: My sails are flapping in the wind/ I said: Can I use that in a song?/She said: I mean, The end begins/I said: I know, can I use that too?" or a repressed paranoia "Don't get too close; you reflect the west coast air in my chest and the way I hold it in there."

Either way you take in the lyrics, from the ascending keyboard and guitar riff, the hooray-the-king-is-here chanting, and crooning vocals, "The Taming of the Hands That Came Back to Life" is a pristine example of Sunset Rubdown's mature and mythical song craftsmanship.

Sunset Rubdown - The Taming of The Hands That Came Back to Life

Aimless Ideas: The Pilot

Well first entry of this new series, where I'll just spill thoughts out like a cracked and old watering can.

One thing that's been on my mind lately, which was brought up recently in some murmuring conversation that I can't pinpoint or don't want to, was the idea of permanence.

Honestly, how permanent is permanence? Is the feeling of being in a certain area at a certain time so fascinating that it seems to creep up at various points in the day? It certainly doesn't happen while any event is happening but when I look back it always gets confined in one way or another in some lost cube of images.

Whether this is just the puzzling first chapter in this series or just the beacon of what is to come is beyond me.

Track Review: Grizzly Bear - Two Weeks

Not to follow the hype of every single indie hispter who just happened to fall for Grizzly Bear's latest single from their forthcoming album Veckatimest, I at first tried to dissuade myself from being the same. But once I got past my own bias, I realized that sometimes a catchy and infectious song can be a good one.

Although this is no new feat, and neither is "Two Weeks", it captures everything that is needed in smart pop song songwriting, from Ed Droste's simple yearning vocals, the simply old time-y keyboard riff, groove tight drums, and "Oh ah oh ah woah-oh" backing harmony vocals, what Grizzly Bear have accomplished is a pop song that still falls in their usual style of making experimental folk songs, but is completely different in approach.

Grizzly Bear - Two Weeks (Live at Letterman)

Redemption? Maybe.

It's been a long while, and not the normal kind that would be expected of. Since this used to be a album review blog (that no one read), I guess I'll try to revive it and bring it back for the same reason, and possibly talk about more off-hand topics in life and all.

Next up:

Track Review: Grizzly Bear - Cheerleader and Grizzly Bear -Two Weeks.