Aimless Ideas: Musical Litter Box and...

I figure if I just pretend I'll do something, it'll eventually happen. Yet it's never the case, unless I end up losing interest. It's not really a active way of getting things done, but it's just a cycle that I can't break unless I need to.

Lately, there have been two things I've wanted to finish, or at least get a start on.

One of these is my strange and mundane solo music project thing, if you could call it that. Initially, I'll admit I began to start on it seriously when I was faced with an apathetic band ideal, sure my previous fling was one that was pretty fun and exciting, at the time there was nothing better to do than play in front of people and just think for a second, it was entertaining to them as it was to me in some way.

Obviously, things grew weary for the rest of my bandmates, and schedules, stress, and my stubborn way of saying "fuck it" when I realized I did everything and there was no appreciation, well it was bound to implode on itself. After that, I wrote all the ideas I would have shared and instead drew them out in sketches, soon after I got it all together and had a handful of songs.

But there's always something to halt production, my homemade 'studio' of sorts consists of a lone Rock Band microphone and a guitar stand, and it shows. If that wasn't enough, doing it all by yourself isn't exactly exciting, and I've seem to have fallen under a sore throat, and when you aren't the greatest vocalist, it makes it that much worse. This all together makes me long for the days when I could jam it out with the band and get it done in a day, instead of the average three songs a month thing I've been cranking out.

I want some interaction, a reaction of what is being played right there and then, and a sense of "hey we could add this, why not?" It's a weird brotherhood thing, the best kind of feeling, but maybe I took it too personally, I don't know.

I guess it's a sense of "I did this all myself, what have you done?" attitude that has stopped me from bringing up the idea of some sort of get-together after so long. But either way, I want to finish up this lo-fi broken music, perfect or not.

The second thing, well let's say the second thing is one that I'm unsure of how to approach. For a while, I've pondered if I treated this situation too casually, if I'm missing some big point of it all, or if I insist too much.

Maybe I daydream too much of what I would like to do, but then when I fall out of it, I realize it's just that, a daydream. Hopefully daydreams are some sort of indication of what can happen.

Slowly, yet surely is the saying.